My garden is off and running now. I spent so much energy and so many hours preparing for planting and for now, besides some weeding, watering, and maintenance, it is a waiting game.
The older part of my garden is a raised bed. A few years back I brought in a whole load of dirt that was labeled as “good for garden” by the seller. I busted my hump and a few other humps getting the old garden dirt relocated and the fresh dirt to its new home. It was a labor of love for me (not sure the others felt that way) and I looked forward to a beautiful, productive garden that year. But it didn’t happen, actually nothing happened. The seeds peeked out of the ground and then died. Nothing I did that year resulted in the incredible garden I had dreamed of.
It was the same story for the next several years. I thought for sure I was cursed; I would never see another zucchini, cucumber, or tomato that I could claim fame for. My Mom told me to plant black eyed peas that “it was said” would help enrich the soil, but even the black eyed pea couldn’t bring life to that old dirt. I tested the soil and the results came back a big zero. There was no nutritional value whatsoever, none, zilch. Unbelievable.
I have had thoughts of giving up, throwing in the towel. My confidence as a gardener was about as high as the PH levels of my soil. I was out of ideas and honestly tired of dealing with it. So, last year, I let it rest. I didn’t plant anything and every time I looked upon the garden that once harvested tomatoes well into November, my soul grieved… I believe it grieved because somewhere deep down I knew that God created that soil to produce more than just weeds and I felt discouraged because I had failed in providing just the right mix of organic matter, nurturing, and perhaps rest. Maybe I neglected it, didn’t water it enough, or maybe too much. I just couldn’t figure out the perfect recipe and any yields I did receive were small and short lived.
God uses gardening to speak to me about life. Sometimes in relationships I give it my all and still see very little yield. I do everything I can think of to weed out the bad and nourish the good but in some relationships the weeds are planted too deep and when I reach in to pull them out they are only broken off at the surface. That sends a message to the weed that in order to survive, it has to root deeper and stronger and then it returns even bigger and uglier than before. Soon the fruit bearing plants are deprived of the nourishment they need to survive. Sometimes the damage is beyond my control, sometimes I just have to let it rest. My soul grieves because I know that God wants the relationship to be so much more, for me to find just the right recipe and give it the nourishment and rest it needs to flourish. There is a season of rest, a season of nourishment, and a season of waiting. Sometimes you just have to wait.
This year I tilled up the garden and added compost and manure. I am trying some new ideas to help add to the healing process, pouring my love and passions into it and I am hoping that the rest and nourishment will give it the tender loving care it needs to thrive…praying for a better yield.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” – James 1: 2-3
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