Who Moves? Who Stays Put? Where’s Home?

 

 “Home is the nicest word there is.” - Laura Ingalls Wilder

It has been almost three months since I last posted.  I always thought once my kids were grown and out of the house I would have all this extra fee time on my hands…but not so much!  Life just takes you from one set of tasks to another according to the role you are playing at the time. 

Since I last wrote, I prepared my home with plans to sell.  That plan got re-routed to “we will reconsider in the spring”.   The holiday season is simply not a good time, not to mention the fact that the minute I seriously considered all that was involved and leaving my home of 11 years, I started getting very cold feet.  This is the only home I have lived in since my grandchildren were born and even though I know that even if I move, my house will always be a place where they can come and be themselves, relax, and make memories, I want some stability for them that the modern world just doesn’t offer.

Nobody stays put anymore!  When I was growing up (OK, it wasn’t THAT long ago, 70’s), very rarely did the neighbors move away, and if you did get a glance of a for sale sign in someone’s yard it always started speculation of what must have happened!  It wasn’t a matter of just moving because you were tired of the house in which you lived; it was usually because of a major life event.  For the most part, people stayed put, people knew their neighbors, they helped each other, and if you couldn’t count on anything else in the world, you could count on sleeping under the same roof, in the same room, same bed, and your home was the most familiar thing in your life.  I want my home to be one of the most familiar things in my grandchildren’s lives.

 

About 40 million people move annually in the US. Nearly 3/4 of the US population moves an average of once every 5 years.  (http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_often_do_people_move_in_the_US).  I started off on this trend but as I grow older I long for the security I had as a child and I want at least a little of that for the little ones I have around my knees now.

 

As Christmas draws near and people run to and fro, I strive to stay closer to home;  this year we are spending less money, giving away a little more, spending more time with friends, and winding down.  I am reminded of the things I remember about Christmas’ past; the endless tins of cookies, divinity and fudge; a comfortable home decorated with things of the season;  and the Christmas Eve outing to look at Christmas lights only to come home and find out that once again Santa had come while we were away.   Those are simple, sweet memories that will always stay with me, and I hope the loved ones that come after me will remember or hear of some I created.

 

Use wisdom and understanding to establish your home; let good sense fill the rooms with priceless treasures. - Proverbs 24.3,4

Time to Rest



“No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace as I have seen in one autumnal face.’ --John Donne

 

As I clean the yard in preparation for winter and lay grass in bare areas the drought distressed, I prepare the ground for another season of rest.  It will be another couple of months before we have any seriously cool weather, so I know the grass will take root and be ready to grow for next year.  We have decided to sell our home and downsize, so with much sentiment, I cover the garden areas and gaze out over the area that I have worked for almost eleven years now.  I took out the pumpkins I planted as they would cause a terrible mess in the yard and I need for it to look neat and simple.  I wasn’t guaranteed to have any by Halloween anyway, so I made the cut.  Oh how hard that was!  I haven’t even left yet and I already miss my roses, elephant ears, garden, and dreams of late that never came to pass.  At the same time I am very excited for my next venture, hoping we can sell quickly so that I can realize new dreams early this spring.  Undoubtedly they will include planting roses, elephant ears and a garden.

 

It’s September, fall starts this weekend and I have gotten into the spirit by putting up some fall décor and buying a few little pumpkins to grace my desk at work.  I am looking forward to the fall festivals and Halloween.  I am lamenting over whether to go to a party I was invited to or stay home and spend it with the grandkids and give out candy, our last season to do so at this home.  Guess I am a little more attached to this place than I thought.  I believe seeing the grandkids will win out for plans, I just have to see their sweet little faces in this year’s disguise;  I’ll act like I don’t know them, of course.

Have I ever mentioned how I love fall?  Oh yeah, I guess a million times.  This year the weather has cooled off earlier than most; the rain blew in a few days ago and brought with it 80 degree weather.  That is downright chilly here in central Texas and it is pure bliss.  For years I have been thinking about having a pumpkin carving contest.  I had been planning a fall garden party, so I may have to combine the two, have everyone bring a pumpkin and celebrate the season.

I can feel that peace and contentment that warms my heart at this time each year.  The brutal heat is gone and now it’s time for a rest.  As I sit back and reflect on all I have done in the garden this year, I understand that rest is such a good thing for all living things.  God knew this after he created and planted a garden here on earth.  He rested on the seventh day and took in all that He had done and he was pleased.  I guess I feel just a tad bit of that satisfaction as I look back over the year.  I am so grateful for the feelings and emotions that God gave me.  While they may bring me sorrow at times, more often they bring joy and the awareness of how good God is and how much he loves me.  I can feel it; down deep…there is no mistaking it.

“On the seventh day God had finished his work of creation, so he rested from all his work.” – Genesis 2:2 NLT

Reaching For The Light

"Expect to have hope rekindled. Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways. The dry seasons in life do not last. The spring rains will come again.” 

- Sarah Ban Breathnach 

The last couple of years have been the hardest years of my life, emotionally that is.  My losses and struggles really took a toll on me, yet I wouldn’t trade that valley for the highest mountain experience ever.  I wouldn’t trade because the walk through the valley forced me to make the changes in my life that I was stuffing into the box of denial and avoidance.  The word seasons has been done to death when relating to life, but it is absolutely the best description I can think of.  My experience forced me from Summer into Fall.  I find it interesting that Fall has always truly been my favorite season of nature, but when it came to the seasons of life, I avoided it like the plague.  Now that I have transitioned and accepted all it has to offer, I am in love all over again.

So many beautiful things have come out of this experience.  First and foremost I am experiencing a closer walk with God.  He was with me every step of the journey and gifted me with insight of who He made me to be and how time weaves change into each season.  I am still the same person, but with different purposes for different times.  He showed me that even though my life may change, He never changes and His love stays the same, always.

I had to learn acceptance of myself and others, true forgiveness, unconditional love, and dependence upon God.  At the risk of sounding cliché, I had to let go, and let God.

As a result of what I have learned, I am able to enjoy this season.  I have learned that I don’t really want to work so hard; that being a grandmother doesn’t mean I have to let my hair go gray and wear a tent dress, it means I now have some children to love, spoil, create memories with, and pass along family traditions to; that I NEED to write, it’s good therapy; that I can help others because of the struggles I have experienced; and that basically, I am OK, just as I am.

A few of my pumpkins and gourds have tossed a few clods of dirt and are reaching for the light.  I love that.  They have to get through all the dirt to reach the light.  Imagine that…

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” – Hebrews 13:8

 

Garden of Weedin'

“One lifetime is never enough to accomplish one's horticultural goals. If a garden is a site for the imagination, how can we be very far from the beginning?” - Francis Cabot Lowell

If you read my last post, you know that I pretty much had given up on the garden and decided to clear it out and save my strength for next year.  Well…not so much.  I went out to take inventory and ended up harvesting about 2 quarts of green beans, peppers, and cantaloupe and then proceeded to plant Jack-Be-Little pumpkins and some gourds.  The garden is up and running again!  I just can’t do it!  I saw new blooms on the half-dead tomato plants and just that hint of life was the hope and inspiration I needed.  While pulling weeds and grass and clearing out the old squash plants, so many of the things I envisioned at the beginning of spring started running through my mind again:  an old birdhouse that towers over the garden keeping an eye on the flurry of life from nesting birds to bees and butterflies sticking their noses in all the garden’s business; a charming greenhouse constructed with vintage windows on the east side of the garden for sheltering potted plants and new sprouts in winter and early spring and all the while offering a quaint, little dreaming space for the gardener; and an extension of space for roses and cut flowers just past the greenhouse and beyond the fence in a derelict area of yard that sports full sun all day.  It looks so beautiful in my mind’s eye.

It seems there is never enough time for gardening plans.  Life gets in the way.  Oh to spend all my time in the garden, I would truly be happy.  God was the first gardener; He planted a beautiful paradise here on earth in the beginning and planned for us a long life in perfect fellowship with Him.  We all know how that ended.  The evil one slithered in and started all his drama and well, the rest is history.  So now here we are in need of inspiration to keep us going.  In my attempt to wade through the mess we made, God is an endless source of inspiration; He is the first bloom on my roses in Spring, the cushion of grass under my feet, the soft breeze on my face just when it seems too hot, and He was the new bloom on the half-dead tomato plant that inspired me to keep planting.  He is everything that is beautiful, not only in the garden, but in this life.

“And the Lord God planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and there he put the man whom he had formed.” – Genesis 2:8

A Good Haul

The best place to find God is in a garden. You can dig for him there. - George Bernard Shaw

 

The squash and cucumber plants have died away and the tomato plants are being eaten by some unseen forces.  Hundred plus temperatures are pretty much taking care of the rest of the garden, however, the cantaloupes and peppers are still doing well and the Okra is indestructible!  I have to admit, too, that I haven’t been caring for everything as I once did as my motivation got lost somewhere between the rain, vacation, and heat.  Not something I like to admit, but true. 

 

So, I do believe it may be time to clear out the ruin and lay some landscape fabric to try and control the insanity of grass and weeds.  Man, if only my vegetables were that aggressive!  I am still debating on whether or not to plant anything for fall.  It is getting a bit late, so I may just let it (and me) rest until spring.   It was a good haul.

My favorite memories of the garden this year so far include:

• Spending time with my son and his friend while they helped me prepare the ground
• Finding new vegetable sprouts each morning
• The thousands of tiny ladybugs look a likes (still not sure exactly what they were) I discovered after pulling up a patch of grass
• Planting flowers with my granddaughters
• Fresh salsa
• My garden party!
• My first eggplant (I have never planted these)
• Grandchildren’s hand prints on stepping stones
• Finding cantaloupes amongst the cucumbers that I didn’t know I planted!
• Missile-sized zucchini squash
• My grandbaby picking tomatoes and playing in the dirt
• A freezer full of vegetables!

I am so blessed.  I dreamt last night that I woke up and everything I once had was gone.  It was a very lonely feeling.  When I awoke for real, I realized that I have so very much to be thankful for.  God has blessed me with freedom, family, friends, a beautiful home, a great job, and talent that I can use to bring Him glory.  Gardening is one talent that I hope to pass along to a family member somewhere down the line.  I have such beautiful memories of my mother’s gardens and I hope that my children and grandchildren have the same of mine.  I hope to someday use this talent as a ministry as well.  God dwells in the garden and I know that others can find Him there, if I just plant the seed.

"And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."  - 2 Corinthians 9:8

So Many Seeds...So Little Time

“We all have a path to take; sometimes it's hidden under the weeds, so you might have to work a little.” ~Mike Dolan

It’s been a great summer for my garden this year; I have seen a bounty of vegetables like no other. Thank goodness, I was beginning to think I didn’t have it in me anymore! Once again, God has shown me that it's not all about me. My green beans are playing out (although I have not checked on them for about a week because we have had so much rain) and the older squash plants as well. The tomatoes are slowing down, and the Roma’s are wrapping it up; they are “determinate”, which means that the fruit ripens at one time, rather than continually through the season, so when they’re done, they’re done. The cantaloupes are running the show now. They are creeping into every corner of the garden! I was admiring the eggplants a few days ago and saw a cantaloupe peeking out from behind. Those little melons get in the darndest places! They have been very entertaining this year.

Thoughts of a fall garden are creeping in, still not too late to plant pumpkins although it would be a little behind schedule because I would want them for Halloween. If they were to befriend the cantaloupe it might end in a hostile takeover!

A fall garden, in Central Texas, Zone 8, might include such as this:  beans, beets, brussel sprouts, cabbage, carrots, cauliflower, chard, collards, cucumber, eggplant, garlic, lettuce, mustard, parsley, peppers, radish, spinach, squash (summer and winter), tomato, and turnip.

That sounds like a lot of work to me!  I find my drive to keep the garden producing is lacking these days!  It is truly many hours of some back-breaking work, and with the rain I have taken somewhat of a break in working out there, thus grown a little lazy…

So many seeds, so little time...God tell us in the Bible that the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.  As I struggle to put in the hours it takes to keep a backyard garden growing and flourishing, I think about the fact that I get so much more than I put into it.  I plant one seed and in return get boundless more.  I often think too about how my work for Christ is very much like planting seeds; the work takes time, is often wearisome, and the workers are few, but the bounty I receive as a result explodes exponentially in all areas of my life.  God is so good, so faithful; He opens the windows of Heaven and the blessings pour in.  Seems like a pretty good investment to me!

“Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.  Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.” – Matthew 9:37-38 NIV

The Dog Days of Summer

"Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it."  Russel Baker

I decided this year I was not going to let the heat get me down.  I would, one way or another, find a way to be positive about it.  It’s hard as I watch my potted annuals wither daily with the midday heat and the grass and weeds take over the garden because my motivation to stifle them dries up.  I have to water every other day just to keep the grass a light brown color, and the 100 plus temperature days are increasing…it’s not as bad as last year, but it’s early yet…oh darn it, there I go being negative again…

My step-father used to say “We are in the dog days of summer”.  I don’t know why I remember that, but once when we were at the lake fishing I remember him saying that while warning me to watch where I walk because of the danger of snakes sunning themselves on the rocks nearby.  My memories of the summers of my childhood are really good ones.  I went outside “to play” first thing and stayed until dusk, sometimes later.  We camped, fished, swam, ran down a rock alley with no shoes to climb on top of the concession stand at the baseball field, and spent weeks and sometimes months with our favorite cousins and relatives.  I don’t remember the heat being such an issue back then…

Wilkipedia says “Dog Days are the hottest, most sultry days of summer.  In the Northern Hemisphere, the  dog days of summer are most commonly experienced in the months of July and August, which typically observe the warmest summer temperatures. In the Southern Hemisphere, they typically occur in January and February, in the midst of the austral summer. The name comes from the ancient belief that Sirius, also called the Dog Star, in close proximity to the sun was responsible for the hot weather.”

God tells us to be thankful in all circumstances.  So here are a few things I am thankful for this summer:

• My garden busting out at the seams
• Watching my granddaughters at the splash pad
• Sunflowers
• Long days
• Another birthday
• A fresh pedicure tucked into flip flops
• Flip flops
• Visiting national parks
• Sno-cones
• Sound of the ice cream truck in my neighborhood
• Fresh herbs
• Blowing bubbles
• Fresh, ripe tomatoes
• A cool breeze on a hot day
• Swimming

Most of all, I am thankful to God for giving me another summer so that I can marvel at the beauty of life in full bloom.

“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus” 

1 Thessalonians 5:18 NLT

Making the Best of It

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald

Half a century…that seems like a very, very long time.  Today I turned 50.  I had visions of lying in bed all day lamenting over the fact that I am, in fact, truly getting older.  It’s like I wanted, like it is expected of me to be unhappy, to wallow in misery…but I woke up, refreshed and happy, went for a walk, and worked in the garden, just like I did when I was 49.  I feel the same!  While my body ages, my spirit stays fresh. 

What I love best about being 50 is that I can just be me.  I am OK.  The insecurity I felt in the past is easing up.  I haven’t fully arrived, but I realize that I am a creation of God, and in me, he created a unique being: the way I look, my personality, my soul; all designed for just me.  I strive to see myself through His eyes, as a beloved daughter of the most-high God.  I have an inheritance that only a few can claim (thank you Jesus) and it grows richer with loving and serving others.  I have the best guidebook ever, it is called the Bible.  It is chocked full of expressions of love, wisdom, comfort, and examples of how to live.  All this and a God who will never leave me nor forsake me; I can’t lose; it is as simple as that.  One, or 50 more years, God willing, I want to make the best of it.

Just a few things I have learned over the last 50:  I don’t have to fix everyone else; a mild, non assertive personality pays off in the end; it is OK to say no; forgiveness affords freedom; you have to be as good as you expect everyone else to be; judging others is not my job; gardening is therapy; families are not perfect, but worth the investment; time is more important than things; the child in me lives on; I am not responsible for other people’s feelings or actions; dogs are truly human’s best friends; hurt people hurt people; friends are family we pick for ourselves; marriages can’t survive without God; it’s not all about me after all; being a Christian is not about religion; crying is not a weakness; worrying is not trusting God; you can’t run from your problems but you can sure distance yourself; keep score and you lose; the housework can wait; words hurt; one kind word or gesture can change someone’s day; the past is a great teacher;  you have to look forward, not back; grandchildren rock; and all you need is love…really.

“Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die.”  – Psalm 103:15 NLT

Gardening...A Ministry

"When heaven falls to earth it becomes a garden" ~ Stoufer

My cup runneth over...the freezer is filled with squash and okra that dream of filling a winter stew or gumbo; the table is covered with a bright red sea of ripening tomatoes; peppers, peppers, and more peppers wait in the refrigerator for a cook with a taste for spice; and cucumber and eggplant are still roasting on the vines.  It is hard to believe that just four months ago I was expressing my doubts over whether or not a harvest would ever be made on that plot of land again! 

This year I have been tucking away the veggies into plastic bags and sharing them with friends and family.  In doing so, I thought about what a great ministry a garden could be.  Taking a bag or basket of freshly grown vegetables to a neighbor to “break the ice”, opens the door to new friendships and sharing of lives, testimonies, and love.  What a beautiful way to love your neighbor.

Lately, I too have begun to love the idea of community gardens, supporting local growers, eating organically, recycling, and living with less.  The later part of that statement doesn’t come so easy to me because I love my “stuff”.  I have been thinking a lot, however, about the benefits of “less is more”…less of a house, less furniture, less decorations…less stuff.  It would free up my mind and time so that I can concentrate on what matters more, that being serving others, spending more time with family and friends, and of course, gardening!!!

This week I will celebrate my 50^th birthday!  Encouragement abounds from friends, family, and even research I have done that this next decade will hold some of the best years of my life.  I have been so blessed already and I am truly looking forward to what God has in store for me.  As He whittles away and shapes me into His image, I hope that more and more as I look in the mirror, what I see will not be an aging semblance, but more so a beautiful reflection of the one who gave all so that I might live…the one who is my advocate, my strong defender, my friend… Jesus Christ.’

“To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.”  

-Ephesians 4:22 - 24

The Garden in My Mind's Eye

“Accepting the reality of our broken, flawed lives is the beginning of spirituality not because the spiritual life will remove our flaws but because we let go of seeking perfection and, instead, seek God, the one who is present in the tangledness of our lives. ”  ― Mike Yaconelli

As I work each morning in the garden, I find myself frustrated at the fact that I cannot seem to keep up with all that needs to be done, even though I work at it most every day.  The weeds and grass grow back faster than I can pull them.  The front yard, well forget about it, it is just truly neglected.  Living up to my own expectations of what my garden should look like is not realistic.  Yet I go through feelings of guilt and frustration because I can’t make it look like what exists in the garden in my mind’s eye.  I guess it is like anything else, in thumbing through magazines and watching the gardening shows on television, I build up this “idea” of a perfect, beautiful garden where you would be welcomed in under an arbor and through a rustic fence that leads to a bench.  This bench is surrounded by many interesting plant varieties with rose bushes holding the lead role of the show.  The yard is filled with perennials, raised vegetable beds, herbs, spring bulbs, grasses, elephant ears and  beautiful ferns.  The garden is divided by walkways and paths; charming accents abound, including a rain barrel decorated by the grandchildren. There are climbing vines on trellises and arbors and a swing that entices you to come sit and enjoy the shade of one of the many crepe myrtle trees that explode in fushia all across the yard.  Surprises are around every bend and a small statuary, birdbaths, stepping stones, and metal sculptures contribute interesting focal points to this backyard sanctuary – all continually engaging the eye.  

Needless to say, that is not what actually exists.  I was thinking about it this morning and wondered why I can’t just enjoy it for what it is?  Yes, there are grass and weeds that seem to grow up behind me as I tug and pluck them away; there is bailing wire and an old white fence that stakes and supports top heavy tomato plants; and the mulch that is trying oh so hard to contain the grass soldiers that persistently push through barricades is slowly losing the battle.  But at the same time, the yellow and zuchinni squash slide out from underneath their mother plants, drop their blooms, and grow to incredible sizes if not kept in check; okra points to the sky and draws the plant upward; peppers spice the garden in green and red; pole beans dangle over the sides of the raised bed; and purple eggplant balloons out into incredible, delicious eye candy.  Hiding under the cucumber and squash vines that climb up a trellis are round, sweet cantaloupes that are enveloped in grass, and I experience delight in the find.

Even in the messiness of the garden that is my reality, I find true beauty and joy.  It is such an analogy of my life.  Even in my messiness, God sees a child who is beautiful and worthy.  He opens my eyes and shows me that I have been deceived into forming an unrealistic vision of who I should be based on what the world tells me is beautiful and desirable.  He reminds me that in Him I AM beautiful and worthy and that in the chaos I will grow and thrive.  I, like my garden, am a mess, but therein lies beauty, surprises, fun, and true growth.  And when harvest time comes, I will be made perfect, just like the garden in my mind's eye.

 “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”—Ps 139:14

A Melon In The Mix

“Even in the familiar there can be surprise and wonder.” ― Tierney Gearon

While picking cucumbers in my garden the other day, I reached for one and noticed that it was incredibly round, and the texture was different, and the color was not green…I looked at it for about a minute before I realized it was no cucumber, it was a cantaloupe!  How the heck did that get there?  I didn’t plant any cantaloupes!  I am companion planting and didn’t even know it!  I guess a cantaloupe seed defected over to the cucumber seed bin!  But I love surprises, and cantaloupe is one of my favorites, so it was a welcome novelty aside it’s vined cousins.

Some interesting facts about cantaloupes:

• Black cats love it.
• It is good to help you quit smoking.
• It's good to make the sun out of if you're doing a model of the solar system in grade school.
• Penicillin owes everything to the cantaloupe.
• Cantaloupe was named after Cantalupo, Italy, the city where cantaloupe was originally cultivated from Armenia melon seeds in the 1700’s. 
• Christopher Columbus transported melon seeds to the United States, which were later cultivated by Spanish explorers in California. 
• To see if your cantaloupe is ripe just shake it. You should be able to hear the seeds when it is 100% ripe.
• You can blend the seeds & their pulp with pineapple juice for a 'nutty' milk.
• Cantaloupe, which is actually called a muskmelon, is the most common melon within the United States.
• Cantaloupe is part of the melon family which includes squash, cucumber, gourds, and pumpkin.

(Interesting facts found here:  http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091213161646AAkyyeJ,http://lsned.com/facts/penicillin-invention/, http://healthymeals.nal.usda.gov/hsmrs/NJ%20Quick%20Steps/NJ_Qk_Steps_Participant/Cantaloupe.pdf, http://sweetkisses9187.hubpages.com/hub/Fruit-Tips-and-Tricks-Exposed, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDELz3OblT8, http://www.purplekittyyarns.com/fruits-and-vegetables/cantaloupe)

As I have written before, my favorite part of gardening are the “surprises” that God throws in.  He will roll in a few thunderbolts in our lives as well.  We think we have it all figured out and boom, there is that round, course fruit where a cucumber should be.  These surprises in life are not always as pleasant as they are in the garden, but they are proof that God is in control and we are not!  His ways are not our ways and He alone authored the plan for our lives, not to be directed or altered by us.  Thus, some surprises we will experience.

A little melon in the mix of life is not always a bad thing.  It may add a different spin on what was originally planned, but also adds a little spice to the original plan.  In my case, I will be mixing my cantaloupe with the peppers and onions for a sweet and savory salsa!  Bon appetite!

 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. – Isaiah 55:8 NIV

All Relationships Have a Place in the Garden

Friends are "annuals" that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a "perennial" that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There's a place in the garden for both of them.  – Erma Bombeck

Relatives are the family God picks for us and friends are the family we pick for ourselves.  God infuses people together as a family and uses their love, personalities, differences, and even dysfunction to grow our spirits and teach us how to love unconditionally.  We choose our friends because they are they share the same interests we do, encourage us, and fulfill the needs that others neglect.   Both types of family walk with us and help us find our way on our journey through life.

I thought I would share something my brother wrote about his sisters that illustrates so well how God grows our spirits and unfolds His plan for the people in our lives...

“When I was little, I wondered, what are sisters for?  They were always in the bathroom, doing God knows what, and when they finally got out of the bathroom it was impossible to get anywhere because of all the make-up and hair spray.  I use to think that sisters were put on this earth just to torture me.  I could not go five minutes without being told what to do or what to say.  As time went on I forgot the question, “What are sisters for?”  It was several years later when I realized the answer to my childhood problem.  Sisters were made by God to teach me what my parents might have forgotten to tell me; to let me know that I am special because I am myself.  My sisters taught me to smile when I was sad and to cry when I was happy.  My sisters are always there to correct my mistakes even before I make them.  There are many more answers to my question, but one stands above all others, “Who else is going to spoil me?”

I often question some relationships in my life because they can be truly exhausting or even downright heartbreaking.  But I trust in God’s plan; I trust that each and every person He planted into my life was deliberate and that if I do my part and cultivate unconditional love and forgiveness, the end result will be a harvest of understanding and enlightenment…that of all that we experience in life, love is all that matters.

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.”  1 Corinthians 13:1 - NIV

Murder in the Garden

“It's the circle of life, and it moves us all through despair and hope, through faith and love.”  Rafiki

It was a hot and humid morning…the air was thick and I could feel something amiss and as I walked through the garden I noticed my little dog Hillary sniffing out what I soon realized was a crime scene.  There it was...a plethora of feathers spread out like the impact site of a meteor!  I felt the hairs stand up on the back of my neck as I walked closer to investigate.  It must have been that spineless cat next door that sneaks over to rummage around and stalk little birds that play innocently in the garden.  The criminal is quite evasive, but the evidence is overwhelming…

It amazes me that domesticated cats, so well-fed, in fact, some so fat they can barely walk, are still excellent hunters. The family tree of the cat family can be traced back more than 40 million years.  At one time all cats were wild and now they still use the same methods as that of their ancestors.   After stalking their prey, they wait quietly and patiently for the right moment before pouncing and making a kill. They chase birds, rodents, and occasionally rabbits, although I haven’t seen any rabbits in the garden lately, thank goodness.

Ten interesting facts about cats (http://facts.randomhistory.com/interesting-facts-about-cats.html):

• A group of cats is called a “clowder.”
• A female cat is called a queen or a molly.
• Approximately 40,000 people are bitten by cats in the U.S. annually.
• According to Hebrew legend, Noah prayed to God for help protecting all the food he stored on the ark from being eaten by rats. In reply, God made the lion sneeze, and out popped a cat.
• A cat rubs against people not only to be affectionate but also to mark out its territory with scent glands around its face. The tail area and paws also carry the cat’s scent.
• In 1888, more than 300,000 mummified cats were found an Egyptian cemetery. They were stripped of their wrappings and carted off to be used by farmers in England and the U.S. for fertilizer.
• While many parts of Europe and North America consider the black cat a sign of bad luck, in Britain and Australia, black cats are considered lucky.
• Cats hate the water because their fur does not insulate well when it’s wet.
• A cat almost never meows at another cat, mostly just humans. Cats typically will spit, purr, and hiss at other cats.
• A cat’s nose pad is ridged with a unique pattern, just like the fingerprint of a human.

My favorite is the Hebrew legend!  God does have a sense of humor, so I can really appreciate that one.  God’s imagination in all creation stuns me.  Everything he makes is so interesting, intricate, and beautiful.  Evidence of His glory can be seen in every living thing, even the mischievous little cats that commit murder in my garden.  The garden is such a great example of the circle of life.  Plants, insects, reptiles, and animals are born, grow, live, and die in the beauty that surrounds us, and He cares about everything He creates, from the smallest of insects to the largest of animals.  If He cares so much for those creatures, do you not know how much He must care for you?  He promises us in His word that He knew us before we were even born, in fact before He created the world.  He thought about us then.  He counts every hair on our head and collects all of our tears.  If that isn’t love, man I don’t know what is.  Count me in God; I want all of that love I can get!  It is free…it’s a gift and we don’t have to earn it.  It is simple.  All we have to do is believe in Jesus Christ and pass that love on to others.  Elementary my dear Watson!

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." – Jeremiah 1:5

“Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” – Luke 12:7

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” – Psalm 56:8

A Fourth Sister Faces East

"Turn your face to the sun and the shadows follow behind you."  ~ Maori Proverb

This morning as I drove a different road to the entrance of the college where I work, I was greeted by a reception line of sunflowers.  They stood at attention facing the east and formed a wall between the road and the field behind.  My time at the college has come full circle; I will be pursuing another dream soon and I told my co-worker that one thing I will really miss is driving in every morning and seeing each new surprise that God has for me in the landscape that surrounds.  I started reading about sunflowers and found out that it is a myth that their faces follow the sun.  The article I read said the mature heads typically face the east (which I witnessed this morning) and do not move.  The leaves and buds of young sunflowers do exhibit a process called heliotropism (sun turning) and their orientation changes from east to west during the course of a day.  The movements become a circadian response and when plants are rotated 180 degrees, the old response pattern is still followed for a few days, with leaf orientation changing from west to east instead.  The leaf and flower head bud phototropism occurs while the leaf petioles and stems are still actively growing, but once mature, the movements stop. These movements involve the petioles bending or twisting during the day then unbending or untwisting at night.(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunflower). 

It is believed that sunflowers were domesticated first in present day Mexico.  Traditionally, several Native American groups planted sunflowers on the north edges of their gardens as a "fourth sister" to the better known three sisters combination of corn, beans, and squash.  The modern day concept of the "Three Sisters" is referred to as companion planting.  Companion plants are where two or more different type plants are planted in close proximity to each other and this way the plants benefits each other in some way.  In modern times, sunflowers are grown and harvested for their seeds that are sold as snack foods and processed for cooking oil, among other uses.

I was somewhat disappointed with this sunflower news because I have always loved the idea that sunflower faces followed the sun.  God always has a lesson for me with His surprises.  He gave me the impression that we are very much like the sunflowers in that while we are young and growing in our faith, we search for the “Son” (Jesus) in many different directions.  We twist and turn and run to and fro to find the light of truth.  As we mature and become more stable in our faith, we realize that all we have to do is believe, stand strong, bear fruit (fruits of the Spirit), and watch for our Savior. 

So, like the sunflower, let us stand strong, stay vigilant, and keep our faces to the East, for that is where the Son of Man will return to collect His own.

"For as the lightning comes from the east and flashes to the west, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be." —Matthew 24:27

Went To a Garden Party

“I went to a garden party to reminisce with my old friends...” – Ricky Nelson

Garden Party:  a party of people assembled for social interaction out of doors.

Friend:  “I’ve never been to a garden party”.

Me:  “Me either, so I just decided to have one!”

I love gardens and I love entertaining, so a garden party was in order.   I began dreaming of a party straight from the pages of Martha Stewart‘s Living Magazine and started planning accordingly.  Unfortunately I don’t have Martha’s budget, so I had to “tweak” a few things, but it was lovely none-the-less. 

I give my mother much credit for my love of all things garden.  As I have written in the past, her gardens were the envy of the neighborhood and the passion she put into planting her gardens I found rooted in my heart years and years later.  Memories of her gardens haunt the corners and pathways of my own.

 She was there with me when I watered the garden first thing that morning, as I placed her dishware on my table, as my hands prepared the food and drinks, and when I broke the beautiful glass pitcher that was once hers and felt the loss, I imagined her wrapping her arms around me and whispering “it’s OK honey, I understand”, as I know she would have.  She was as much a part of that garden party as any one person who was there.

My mother is gone now, and when Mother’s Day comes to pass this Sunday, I will feel a real void in the day.  It has been almost two years…she died on a Saturday in August and not a day has gone by that I don’t miss her, long for her love, and wish I had done some things differently.  The good news is that I know, with all my heart, that her love lives on.  I am certain that I will see her again and it will be in a perfect place… at the perfect time… for all eternity.  And now when I feel her loss, God wraps His loving arms around me and whispers “it’s OK honey, I understand”.

So in the meantime, I strive to go about the business of my Father in Heaven, live life, love others, and have lots and lots of garden parties.

“So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun.” – Ecclesiastes 8:15

Amber Waves of Grain

“If a man walks in the woods for love of them half of each day, he is in danger of being regarded as a loafer. But if he spends his days as a speculator, shearing off those woods and making the earth bald before her time, he is deemed an industrious and enterprising citizen”.  - Henry David Thoreau

As I have written about in the past, there are agricultural fields around the college where I work.  On one side of the road that leads to the entrance, a crop of wheat was planted where last year’s corn once grew and I enjoy being a witness to the thousands, perhaps millions of beautiful amber colored stalks that “wave” in the wind.  Some mornings they wave me on into work and on other days I imagine they are waving me on a little further east…

There are colleges, hospitals, apartments, housing additions, restaurants and a multitude of businesses moving in and setting up shop and in the meantime, the beautiful countryside keeps getting pushed further and further east of this particular area.  Some days I long to keep driving, to see what is left and mourn yet another piece of earth that has been plowed over, hardened by cement, and “developed”, all in the name of progress.

There is something to be said for progress.  After all, this is America, the land of opportunity,  but is no longer America, the beautiful.  It has become a land littered with empty strip malls, abandoned homes, and endless construction.  It brings to mind the story of The Winchester House.  Sarah Winchester, who lost her husband and child and was told by a psychic that there was a curse on the family because of the terrible weapon created by the Winchester family, kept building onto her home after moving to California, so that she could “control the spirits who came to the house for evil purposes”.  (The Winchester story can be found at http://www.prairieghosts.com/winchester.html).  I wonder if we keep building and building, in spite of being on the verge of economic collapse, in order to shroud ourselves in denial about the evil consequences of greed and materialism that lurk around, seeking to destroy…

Oh how I long for a simpler time.  A time when families sat together on the front porch to watch the sunset or worked together in the garden, a time when everyone knew their neighbors, a time when grocery store owners and bank tellers knew you by name, a time when people stayed married and taught their children to respect authority, elders, and each other, a time when a man’s word was as good as gold, and a time when people worshiped God; not youth, beauty, or fame.

It saddens me to think that when my grandchildren grow up they probably will not even know what a field of wheat looks like.  I wonder if they will know that if you put about 50 of the grains in your mouth and chew a while it will become chewing gum…old farmers chewing gum.  That was something my mother showed me, perhaps it is time for me to pass it along.

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings”.  1 Peter 5:8-9