Reaching For The Light

"Expect to have hope rekindled. Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways. The dry seasons in life do not last. The spring rains will come again.” 

- Sarah Ban Breathnach 

The last couple of years have been the hardest years of my life, emotionally that is.  My losses and struggles really took a toll on me, yet I wouldn’t trade that valley for the highest mountain experience ever.  I wouldn’t trade because the walk through the valley forced me to make the changes in my life that I was stuffing into the box of denial and avoidance.  The word seasons has been done to death when relating to life, but it is absolutely the best description I can think of.  My experience forced me from Summer into Fall.  I find it interesting that Fall has always truly been my favorite season of nature, but when it came to the seasons of life, I avoided it like the plague.  Now that I have transitioned and accepted all it has to offer, I am in love all over again.

So many beautiful things have come out of this experience.  First and foremost I am experiencing a closer walk with God.  He was with me every step of the journey and gifted me with insight of who He made me to be and how time weaves change into each season.  I am still the same person, but with different purposes for different times.  He showed me that even though my life may change, He never changes and His love stays the same, always.

I had to learn acceptance of myself and others, true forgiveness, unconditional love, and dependence upon God.  At the risk of sounding cliché, I had to let go, and let God.

As a result of what I have learned, I am able to enjoy this season.  I have learned that I don’t really want to work so hard; that being a grandmother doesn’t mean I have to let my hair go gray and wear a tent dress, it means I now have some children to love, spoil, create memories with, and pass along family traditions to; that I NEED to write, it’s good therapy; that I can help others because of the struggles I have experienced; and that basically, I am OK, just as I am.

A few of my pumpkins and gourds have tossed a few clods of dirt and are reaching for the light.  I love that.  They have to get through all the dirt to reach the light.  Imagine that…

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” – Hebrews 13:8

 

Garden of Weedin'

“One lifetime is never enough to accomplish one's horticultural goals. If a garden is a site for the imagination, how can we be very far from the beginning?” - Francis Cabot Lowell

If you read my last post, you know that I pretty much had given up on the garden and decided to clear it out and save my strength for next year.  Well…not so much.  I went out to take inventory and ended up harvesting about 2 quarts of green beans, peppers, and cantaloupe and then proceeded to plant Jack-Be-Little pumpkins and some gourds.  The garden is up and running again!  I just can’t do it!  I saw new blooms on the half-dead tomato plants and just that hint of life was the hope and inspiration I needed.  While pulling weeds and grass and clearing out the old squash plants, so many of the things I envisioned at the beginning of spring started running through my mind again:  an old birdhouse that towers over the garden keeping an eye on the flurry of life from nesting birds to bees and butterflies sticking their noses in all the garden’s business; a charming greenhouse constructed with vintage windows on the east side of the garden for sheltering potted plants and new sprouts in winter and early spring and all the while offering a quaint, little dreaming space for the gardener; and an extension of space for roses and cut flowers just past the greenhouse and beyond the fence in a derelict area of yard that sports full sun all day.  It looks so beautiful in my mind’s eye.

It seems there is never enough time for gardening plans.  Life gets in the way.  Oh to spend all my time in the garden, I would truly be happy.  God was the first gardener; He planted a beautiful paradise here on earth in the beginning and planned for us a long life in perfect fellowship with Him.  We all know how that ended.  The evil one slithered in and started all his drama and well, the rest is history.  So now here we are in need of inspiration to keep us going.  In my attempt to wade through the mess we made, God is an endless source of inspiration; He is the first bloom on my roses in Spring, the cushion of grass under my feet, the soft breeze on my face just when it seems too hot, and He was the new bloom on the half-dead tomato plant that inspired me to keep planting.  He is everything that is beautiful, not only in the garden, but in this life.

“And the Lord God planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and there he put the man whom he had formed.” – Genesis 2:8

A Good Haul

The best place to find God is in a garden. You can dig for him there. - George Bernard Shaw

 

The squash and cucumber plants have died away and the tomato plants are being eaten by some unseen forces.  Hundred plus temperatures are pretty much taking care of the rest of the garden, however, the cantaloupes and peppers are still doing well and the Okra is indestructible!  I have to admit, too, that I haven’t been caring for everything as I once did as my motivation got lost somewhere between the rain, vacation, and heat.  Not something I like to admit, but true. 

 

So, I do believe it may be time to clear out the ruin and lay some landscape fabric to try and control the insanity of grass and weeds.  Man, if only my vegetables were that aggressive!  I am still debating on whether or not to plant anything for fall.  It is getting a bit late, so I may just let it (and me) rest until spring.   It was a good haul.

My favorite memories of the garden this year so far include:

• Spending time with my son and his friend while they helped me prepare the ground
• Finding new vegetable sprouts each morning
• The thousands of tiny ladybugs look a likes (still not sure exactly what they were) I discovered after pulling up a patch of grass
• Planting flowers with my granddaughters
• Fresh salsa
• My garden party!
• My first eggplant (I have never planted these)
• Grandchildren’s hand prints on stepping stones
• Finding cantaloupes amongst the cucumbers that I didn’t know I planted!
• Missile-sized zucchini squash
• My grandbaby picking tomatoes and playing in the dirt
• A freezer full of vegetables!

I am so blessed.  I dreamt last night that I woke up and everything I once had was gone.  It was a very lonely feeling.  When I awoke for real, I realized that I have so very much to be thankful for.  God has blessed me with freedom, family, friends, a beautiful home, a great job, and talent that I can use to bring Him glory.  Gardening is one talent that I hope to pass along to a family member somewhere down the line.  I have such beautiful memories of my mother’s gardens and I hope that my children and grandchildren have the same of mine.  I hope to someday use this talent as a ministry as well.  God dwells in the garden and I know that others can find Him there, if I just plant the seed.

"And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."  - 2 Corinthians 9:8