The Garden in My Mind's Eye

“Accepting the reality of our broken, flawed lives is the beginning of spirituality not because the spiritual life will remove our flaws but because we let go of seeking perfection and, instead, seek God, the one who is present in the tangledness of our lives. ”  ― Mike Yaconelli

As I work each morning in the garden, I find myself frustrated at the fact that I cannot seem to keep up with all that needs to be done, even though I work at it most every day.  The weeds and grass grow back faster than I can pull them.  The front yard, well forget about it, it is just truly neglected.  Living up to my own expectations of what my garden should look like is not realistic.  Yet I go through feelings of guilt and frustration because I can’t make it look like what exists in the garden in my mind’s eye.  I guess it is like anything else, in thumbing through magazines and watching the gardening shows on television, I build up this “idea” of a perfect, beautiful garden where you would be welcomed in under an arbor and through a rustic fence that leads to a bench.  This bench is surrounded by many interesting plant varieties with rose bushes holding the lead role of the show.  The yard is filled with perennials, raised vegetable beds, herbs, spring bulbs, grasses, elephant ears and  beautiful ferns.  The garden is divided by walkways and paths; charming accents abound, including a rain barrel decorated by the grandchildren. There are climbing vines on trellises and arbors and a swing that entices you to come sit and enjoy the shade of one of the many crepe myrtle trees that explode in fushia all across the yard.  Surprises are around every bend and a small statuary, birdbaths, stepping stones, and metal sculptures contribute interesting focal points to this backyard sanctuary – all continually engaging the eye.  

Needless to say, that is not what actually exists.  I was thinking about it this morning and wondered why I can’t just enjoy it for what it is?  Yes, there are grass and weeds that seem to grow up behind me as I tug and pluck them away; there is bailing wire and an old white fence that stakes and supports top heavy tomato plants; and the mulch that is trying oh so hard to contain the grass soldiers that persistently push through barricades is slowly losing the battle.  But at the same time, the yellow and zuchinni squash slide out from underneath their mother plants, drop their blooms, and grow to incredible sizes if not kept in check; okra points to the sky and draws the plant upward; peppers spice the garden in green and red; pole beans dangle over the sides of the raised bed; and purple eggplant balloons out into incredible, delicious eye candy.  Hiding under the cucumber and squash vines that climb up a trellis are round, sweet cantaloupes that are enveloped in grass, and I experience delight in the find.

Even in the messiness of the garden that is my reality, I find true beauty and joy.  It is such an analogy of my life.  Even in my messiness, God sees a child who is beautiful and worthy.  He opens my eyes and shows me that I have been deceived into forming an unrealistic vision of who I should be based on what the world tells me is beautiful and desirable.  He reminds me that in Him I AM beautiful and worthy and that in the chaos I will grow and thrive.  I, like my garden, am a mess, but therein lies beauty, surprises, fun, and true growth.  And when harvest time comes, I will be made perfect, just like the garden in my mind's eye.

 “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”—Ps 139:14